September 17th
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Nine years ago, September was still my favorite month. Eight years ago it turned into a horror. This year, it is just September.
September of 2001 was when everything went terribly wrong – an excruciating mixture of intense personal pain and national sorrow. My beloved little mother was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in the context of the destruction of 9/11.
I remember wondering at the time – as I traveled through the barricades of lower Manhattan and looked out my mother’s bedroom window to where the twin towers used to be – which would be worse: to have your loved one suddenly taken away by a seemingly random act of violence, or have to watch your loved one Read More→
3 Things I Know
By · CommentsThere are certain things you just know, you know?
1. My body is always providing me with helpful information: The questions are: Will I recognize it? Will I understand it? And will I act upon it?
I’m getting better at paying attention, and I’ve learned to look for the cues she gives me in times of uncertainty. but I know I’m not yet as aware as I could be.
At this moment, I have a bit of congestion in my throat – the last remnants of a cold I figured. It’s not really bothersome: I have to clear my throat periodically, and sometimes when I speak I don’t sound like myself. I have no memory of ever having this particular after-effect from a cold, so why do I have it now?
The Sure Thing
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ST#1
I woke up today feeling sad, and since I’m trying not to get out of bed on the wrong foot I wanted to figure out what to do about it.
I’m a life coach; I have all sorts of tools at my disposal, but which one to use?
I could sit and think where the sad feeling was coming from – what thoughts of mine were causing it – and once I knew what the thoughts were, I could work on changing them. So I started thinking of why I might feel sad and I came up with a number of reasons. Wasn’t aware I had so many negative stories to choose from, and that knowledge certainly wasn’t helping the situation. Feeling-detection wasn’t a very appealing door to go through and I tried to close it quickly.
I could – per Abraham Hicks – reach for a better feeling thought, and I kind of tried reaching, but nothing was coming easily to my grasp, and I wasn’t feeling very tall.
I could just sit with feeling sad, accept that I didn’t need to track down the emotion, just feel it – and cry if I wanted to. So I cried for a couple minutes, but, I didn’t really want to.
I Have A Cold! – How Cool Is That?
By · CommentsI have a cold. It isn’t anything special, just a cold. Started with scratchy irritated throat and the discharge of every ounce of fluid in my body through my nose. Now it has moved from nose to chest. It isn’t remotely incapacitating but when it first started (I’m on day 5) I found it amazingly infuriating. Read More→
I Want To Be A Cheerleader
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This weekend there was a high school bake sale being held in front of my favorite grocery store. My grocery store – the Village Market – is an independent store with a long history of community involvement; there is often a bake sale going on in front.
The organizers of this sale were ramping up their promotional efforts by stationing a couple of hawkers street side who were regularly calling – with great volume and clear articulation – “BAKE SALE! BAKE SALE!” Read More→
Letter to a Dad
By · CommentsSo I was panting by the water cooler post workout at the gym today, and chatted a bit with one of the other regulars – lets call him Matthew.
Matthew works out regularly with my dear trainer’s brother C, but today was there just to get in a good run on his own. Matthew is fit and focused and intense; he is also beginning to occasionally make remarks about his age.
He was soaked in sweat so I made the logical comment, “looks like you had a good run?”
“Yes,” he answered, “but now I have to get out of here because my daughter is coming in in 10 minutes to work out with C and I think it would be better if she didn’t see me.”
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Protein Shake
By · CommentsIf you suck at something, you’ll get great results.
My current nutrition plan calls for a protein shake after my workout. This shake is nothing fancy – a combination of Whey Protein Concentrate & Isolates mixed with water. It doesn’t taste very good, and the brand I’m using now has artificial sweeteners, but it is a nice hit of protein I can stomach right after working out and I don’t crash in the afternoon as I often would without it.
Pears Conditioner
By · CommentsPart of a continuing series about getting rid of stuff while keeping the memories.
This bottle of hair conditioner is approximately 23 years old, unless I am wrong and it is only 16. In either case its contents are well past their prime – although they “seem” fine – and the bottle no longer needs storage in my shower. Up until a year ago there was a companion bottle of shampoo, but I gave it to my husband to use up.
Jumping On Boxes
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A couple years ago I was attending a workshop given by Dr. Martha Beck. It was a workshop on “Finding Your Northstar” – learning how to find and tune-in to the direction that is right for you, the path of self-fulfillment, and joy.
It was a small workshop – 12 women – and we were talking about how when you are on your right path, you will be doing things you want to do, and it would be easy – not hard. If you had to “force yourself” to do something, it was the wrong thing for you to be doing.
I objected. I said that there were a lot of things I wanted to do that I had to force myself to actually do – things that were incredibly hard, things that I rebelled against doing, things that I had to fight myself about. Martha asked for an example and I told her about the box.
Naked in the Mirror
By · CommentsDo you like what you see?
What are you telling yourself about the image before you? How are you describing yourself?
Does it feel good?
A while ago I tried doing some mirror work per Louise Hay and others. I looked myself in the eye and said “I love you.” It was hard work, and I didn’t like it. What I noticed was that when I looked myself in the eye I didn’t know who I was – I didn’t recognize myself – residue, I think, from years and years of studiously ignoring all mirrors and other reflective surfaces. When I looked at my face in the mirror, I got lost.
Then, for an experiment, I tried looking at my body instead – naked – with all her softnesses and wrinkles. I know my body well. Over the past few years she has become my dearest friend and most trusted advisor. I looked at my body and felt that surge of tenderness and joy I normally associate with baby animals. I love my body very very much. Do you?
